If you look at your partners, you’ll see in them your mirror image. Before you attract a person, you open a door for them to come in.
It sounds strange but most people don’t see their contribution in the development of the events in their life. They consider their personal events as a fluke, or accidents which just happened to them.
In fact, your relationship is your mirror. Looking at your partner you see your reflection of who you are – spiritually, emotionally, intuitively.
Very often we are not willing to look at ourselves through a loved one. But relationships, whether you like it or not, follow certain rules.
I propose that we know and remember these rules according to how our relationships are developed.
1) Men and women are meant to serve one another and their relationships are interdependent. During their life people try to achieve their full potential, but what is stopping them are their masks, or subpersonalities that they put on to survive in an environment where their parents criticized them, and punished them for being themselves. Our relationships reflect the fact that we build them on the principle of complementation. For example, a Victim will always attract a Vampire; a Damsel will always get a Knight who’ll initially save her but then “lock her in a castle”; a Boss will always attract a Servant and the like.
2) In relationships, a man helps a woman to understand her subpersonality that is hidden from her awareness – her shadow. A male’s behaviour in a relationship reveals those sub-personalities that woman suppresses:
– A man drinks, when a woman doesn’t realize that she crushes him. His drinking means: I must be unconscious for you to take care of me.
– A man abuses a woman when she is stuck in a victim mode. His behaviour is saying: I must be dangerous to you, so you have somebody to fear.
– A man becomes idle when a woman takes all responsibilities and becomes like a Mother to him. His behaviour is saying – I should be a Child for you to teach me and look after me.
– A man is cheating with other women when he can’t make happy his “first woman” — his mother. His behaviour is saying: I must be a traitor for you to stop being a victim (referring to his mother, but living with his wife).
3) A woman helps a man to see what he has already achieved. In doing so, it doesn’t matter, he has achieved high or low.
– When a man is strong and confident, a woman is complementing him with her softness and trust.
– When a man is helpless, beside him is an Omnipotent woman.
– When he is Needy, beside him is a Significant woman.
– When he is a Sufferer, she is a Comforter.
– When he is a Liar, she is a Truth Revealer.
4) A man always aims to satisfy the needs of his women: a wife and a mother. When one of them drags his attention, it evokes protest in the other.
5) A woman wants from her man what her father couldn’t give her. Based on security needs, she always projects her negative past experiences with previous men, onto her current relationships. A Father is her first man and emotional patterns of their relationship affect all her future relationships.
6) Husband and father have different functions. A Father must protect and provide for his daughter. Husband wants to protect and provide for his wife, when she inspires him.
7) Happiness of a woman is not in her man. Happiness of any individual cannot be outside of their own body. If you wait for happiness to come from your partner, this means you are making this person responsible (guilty) for the absence of your own happiness. Happiness in a relationship comes from understanding the conflict of sub-personalities and their roles in a relationship. If at least one person refuse to play the subpersonality, the conflict will stop because it is based on co-dependency: for example,
8) Most sub-personalities that destroy relationships are parental messages. By realizing that you are playing a role, you can remove this mask and become free.
9) Your partner’s behaviour is your own feedback, through which you can see your own subpersonalities. Looking at a man’s bad behaviour, a woman must realize what is there inside her that is stopping her from being loved and cherished.
10) Looking at a woman’s behaviour, a man must realize to which extend he is in harmony with the world.
Everyone has gotten fooled by someone; for example, when you say, “I thought I knew this person, but then he or she turned out to be a compulsive liar (Shapeshifter ), or an Addict or a Hustler or a Pirate (by their internal quality). Looking back, your intuition probably alerted you when you were sensing the subtle vibes from this person, but your logical mind had totally dismissed this and you just “heard” what you wanted to hear – but not the truth.
The truth is that our soul made sacred agreements with certain characters (or archetypes), that become leading powers in our life. These characters / archetypes dictate the way we make choices in life, attract certain people, jobs, personal interests, experience specific failures, betrayals, or become very successful in only some things, and not others. If you are interested in learning more about Archetypes, I am inviting you to do my The Power of Archetypes in Your Life, 4 week-course. For more information click here.